So Where Were We?

The holidays are such a busy time of year. Especially when you are trying to juggle family, friends, shopping, work parties, AND multiple dates. I am so behind on everything. To catch you guys up, we have three guys in the current pool: the Engineer, the Lobbyist, and Idaho Boy.

The Lobbyist has shown his age. He is only 25, but I thought was pretty mature for his age. However, he was asking to see me last week, and I only had one day available. He said ok, but that he had to meet up for a work Happy Hour first. No problem – I wanted to slip in a nap anyway (now my age is showing) and figured I had until at least 8pm. By 10 I hadn’t heard from him, ordered pizza, got in my pjs, wrote out my Christmas cards, and put in a movie. He finally sent me a text message a little after 11. Needless to say I told him he wouldn’t be seeing me that night. I have somewhat avoided him since. Don’t see much more happening there – especially considering the other two options currently available.

The Engineer is the ideal match for me. He is nice-looking, a sharp dresser, has a great personality, loves gadgets, watches Meerkat Manor, and is completely honest. Still no sparks. Then he did something a little odd: he sent a text message at 7am on Saturday morning telling me how much he enjoyed our last two dates and that he would really like to see me again before I leave town for Christmas. The fact that he sent it at 7am on a Saturday is the main concern. Not because he woke me up (which he did), but more because he had obviously been thinking about me first thing that morning. I agreed to hang out with him tonight, but I am hesitant. I like him, but I am not feeling the same way he is. Is he moving too fast for me and my feelings will eventually catch up, or am I just stringing him along knowing that sparks are usually almost immediate? As many of you have heard me say before, my Dad and Stepmom like to joke about the fact that after their first date, my Dad wrote “No sparks” in his journal. They have been happily married for 18 years. When do we know for sure?

And that leaves Idaho Boy. He doesn’t actually live in Idaho, which is good, but he does live in Delaware, which is bad. But, he has come down two weekends in a row to see me. And although his cousin lives in the area, he got a hotel room the second time and didn’t tell her he was going to be in town. So he came down just for our date. He grew up in Salt Lake City and Boise (hence the nickname). He is long distance, a complete DORK, dresses very badly and hasn’t one clue about technology – so clearly, I like him. Now he’s gone for two weeks to visit the fam on the west coast. Will absence really make the heart grow fonder or is it out of sight out of mind? I’ve gotten multiple messages from him since he left on Monday, so the former seems more likely at this point.

The X-Factor

Two dates in one week. One definitive statement that we will not date. Two possible second dates. Get lost on the math? The X factor is just that – an ex that I was never really interested in pursuing again, but he pursued me and I thought I would at least entertain it for a bit. But old habits die hard and the Bartender and I are still not compatible. Apparently, he felt my lack of enthusiasm and made me face it tonight. I only slightly hesitated when I answered that we shouldn’t date. Well, we shouldn’t. We aren’t compatible. I enjoy his company, but that is where it ends (see previous posts).

The other two newbies. Lets see … we have the Lobbyist and the Engineer. Wow, doesn’t that sound too exciting?!?!?!?!? Actually, both were quite entertaining and worthy of a second date. And both have mentioned what to do next, so I guess there will be another. Why am not really excited? I’m not sure. They are both attractive, intelligent, nice and seemingly sane. Maybe that is the problem – they are sane, and as we all know, I am not.

And here I am smiling to myself while writing this because an old unobtainable flame IMed me. I argue that it is only because he is unobtainable and that is what drives desire until you find the real thing. Then I think, maybe I really am planning my own demise. I avoid good men and am attracted to the worst and unavailable. But aren’t all women?? Only when we are young and dumb. I am too experience (i.e., old) for that crap. I can always pinpoint the wrong guys, but never the right ones.

One of my newly married friends told me that her now husband told her on her first date:

“You aren’t model hot, but there is something about you.”

If a man who says that can eventually convince the same woman to marry him, I have to believe there is hope in the world.

WTF???

That is my initial reaction to events of this week. Let me explain. Now that I am getting settled into my new daily routines, I am attempting to touch base with people again. About 5 weeks ago, I sent our friend, RW, an email to say hello and suggest that we meet for a drink to catch up. I hadn’t heard from him since before the bar exam in July.

A couple of days ago, Choofly talked to RW and suggested an happy hour now that we are all officially lawyers. It became a slightly bigger event than originally anticipated, but I was looking forward to seeing everyone again. I remembered that I hadn’t heard back from RW, but figured it wasn’t really a big deal – I forget to reply to people often without even realizing it. Thinking, “I must reply to so and so” over and over again in your head suddenly transforms into, “Did I ever reply to so and so?” Then you have a dream that you replied and your mind deletes that “to do” off your mental checklist – you don’t realize you haven’t replied until another triggering event occurs and you search your emails for what seems like hours looking for that email you sent. That email that is not there and was never sent. It has happened to me more often than I can count.

I digress. As I am heading out to meet the crew for happy hour, I receive a reply from RW to my email from 5 weeks ago: “see you at happy hour tonight?” [Insert title of this post here, but spelled out in all caps and bold]. I mean, had he never responded at all, I wouldn't have cared, but to respond 5 weeks later after a happy hour is already planned is just asinine.

I refrain from immediately replying with my sentiments and resolve to berate him publicly at the bar instead. But, wouldn’t you know it – he is there with his new girlfriend. A rather homely looking chick if you ask my opinion (his past girlfriends have been pretty cute, so not sure where he found this one). Being the sensible and mature person I am, I then focus my energies on everyone BUT him. Works just fine until he is leaving and decides to stroll over to say goodbye. He specifically congratulates me from across the group. I immediately threw my drink in his face and walked off with a huge smile on my face.

Okay, not really. That’s what I wanted to do, but instead I politely smiled, thanked him, and otherwise kept my trap shut for once. I had to resist the urge the entire way home to pick up my blackberry and reply to his email with “What the FUCK was that?!?!?!?” By morning, I was much calmer (i.e., sober) and glad I hadn’t replied. In fact, I think no response may make more of a statement – but it is definitely not as satisfying as a good old-fashioned ass-whoopin’! Maybe I’ll just dream that it happened that way …

Nightmares

I have decided that I may be a DC metro man's worst nightmare:

1. I am extremely liberal, yet respect (and even expect) traditional dating values.
2. I hate seafood. Not allergic, just HATE it. The flavor, the smell, the THOUGHT. I can go to a sushi restaurant, but I just don't get the excitement.
3. I am the cat lady - or at least own 2 cats and love them dearly. I still consider myself a dog person, but am not willing to give up my boys for anyone.
4. Value my independence and expect my man to do the same without resentment.

Maybe I am asking too much but I refuse to settle for something less. I know that every relationship takes work and negotiations, but there are some things that should never be compromised. Never lose yourself in the search to find your partner...

Some things never change

The bartender asked me out to dinner at Ceiba last weekend. Great place and the staff were phenomenal. But this isn’t a DC food blog …

He was already tipsy when I met him at the bar, which immediately put me slightly on edge. That was the one thing I could never handle about him – his inability to handle his alcohol. You would think a bartender would be the last person to get obnoxiously drunk, but not so in this case. Once we sat down to dinner, I encouraged him to eat as much as possible, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. By the end of dinner, he was well beyond tipsy and talking rather loudly. He managed to mention marriage (to me specifically) at least 10 times throughout the dinner and admitted that he made up some bogus story of finding my number transferring numbers to a new cell phone to have an excuse to call me again.

Against my better judgment, we went back over to the bar for one last drink. The GM of the restaurant was having dinner and was unfortunate enough to be exposed to my date. He managed to embarrass me, which is a big feat, I must admit – both of which was said loud enough for the entire bar to hear:

1. He told me I wanted to kiss the GM, which was pretty funny once the GM announced that he wouldn't be interested because I wasn’t playing on the right team.
2. He told the GM that we once dated (that’s a stretch) and that I broke up with him because he had a small penis (that’s not as much of a stretch).

Little does he know that I “broke up with him” because I can’t stand him after he’s been drinking. I thought I subtly implied such during dinner – making fun of him for the numerous booty calls years ago and mentioning that I never wanted anything to do with him we he came by wasted. But alas, men are not good at subtle hints, and I should have realized this.

As we were leaving, he said something rude to me. I honestly can’t remember what it was, but it wasn’t too serious because I was smiling to myself as I walked away to find my own cab home. It was just a good excuse to get out of the situation …

The 2nd Bar Exam

Today I found out that I passed the bar exam! No, not the test to see who can drink more than the rest of the bar ... I passed that one YEARS ago. I passed the lawyer bar exam - I am officially an attorney!!!! So hard to believe.

Okay, now back to dating ... assuming, of course, any man in this town would be willing to date an attorney.

The Other Shoe Always Drops

Things with Ron didn’t work out so well. Come to find out he is DEATHLY allergic to cats. The fact that he knew this but chose to come to my place anyway at first sounds admirable. But looking back, I am leaning the other direction – he knew he was allergic & that I had cats, but never said anything – a definite indication that he had no long term interest in dating me. Which is fine – like I said, he was a fun date! I contemplating keeping in touch with him for a close to home booty call, however ….

We are also talking to a couple other men, but nothing has solidified just yet. Still getting messages from Party Boy and the Bartender – somewhat surprisingly after Ms V and Ermmagirl sent the Bartender a picture of Ms V’s ass!! Soon after that, I received an invite to Paris … Ms V, you don’t give your ass enough credit!

Anchorman

I knew exactly what I was doing. In fact, I even told him I knew his antics were a ploy to get me to go back to his place. I admit my naivety in many areas of my life, but not often when it comes to dating. But, I wanted him to smooch me as much as he wanted to get me somewhere private. It’s been a while since a good first kiss, and I was craving. Not to mention he was smart, cute, had a stable career and an awesome dog, but mainly he was a lot of fun. And he has a somewhat unhealthy obsession with Ron Burgundy. I think I’m in love. Okay, not really, but it was the best first date I’ve had in a long time.

After a few drinks, he discovers I haven’t seen Anchorman yet. After recovering from shock and horror, he suggests we go to his place to watch it. Conveniently, he owns the dvd and lives a couple of blocks away. Of course I refuse, pointing to the fact that I don’t even know his last name. Then he pulls the “I have to let out my dog anyway” card. I continue to refuse, but eventually give in.

He owns a nice condo in Georgetown, but since his roommate was home and sleeping, we couldn’t watch the movie in the living room – luckily, he had a tv and dvd player in his bedroom. He may as well have been Ron Burgundy himself! I made sure to mention to him that I knew what he was doing, and he best keep his hands to himself. He was a gentleman, but I still did give up a few (or a lot) of smooches. After the movie, he walked me back to my car and texted me to be sure I made it home ok (that whole mile).

We made plans for tonight, but he called to postpone until tomorrow. He wanted to postpone due to a hangover, and I agreed because I wanted to watch the skins play the cowboys. Based on past experience, I say this kid is too good to be true. I am skeptical, but I plan to have a good time until I find the deal-breaker. The report on date 2 will be up in a few days!

Stay tuned …

Out of the woodwork …

In the past two weeks, I have been living reruns. College Boy, Party Boy, The Bartender and Prada have all initiated contact. The first three I can handle and actually would like to see – just to catch up. I am not interested in being more than friends with any of them – not that I know if they are trying for more or not. The attention is great, but somewhat uneventful. I have enjoyed catching up with old friends now that I have a little time on my hands. Because everyone else has asked recently, there are no dark horses in the running.

I am back on the online dating scene. Hopefully someone will be interesting (and interested) enough to result in a date. I have been proceeding slowly, but am looking forward to a little new social interaction. It has been a while since I have been on a date.

Stay tuned …

Retraction

I am so NOT an asshole anymore in regards to boy #2 of my last post. Turns out that he has some seriously deep-rooted anger issues that he opts to self-medicate and occasionally take out on innocent animals. More specifically, he scared my darling niece (of the canine variety) so badly that she pissed herself at the sound of his voice. I am not sure what he did, but I do know that it was unacceptable. I now feel relieved that I never returned his call.

My niece is now shacked up with me for a few days until Ms V and her hubby's new dream home is completely renovated. All is well that ends well ...

Oops, I did it again ...

Twice in one week, I found myself in a situation that, after looking back, makes me a complete asshole. Not because of anything I did, but because of what I have no intention to do later. These two men have not been so subtle about their attraction to me in the past. Not to the point of actually asking me out, but more on an attention level when we happen to be out in groups. I have had confirmation of my suspicions on both, so I’m not just being presumptuous. And I know I am not compatible with either and don’t plan to prove that fact by starting something that will inevitably end up disastrous. Considering that both are in my very close circle of friends, I shutter to think of how ugly something like that could be.

On both occasions, I had been drinking, so I didn’t want to drive home. Sensible yes, but I saw both situations coming way before my first beer. But yet, for whatever reason, I chose not to avoid the situation. No sex, no craziness, but definitely feeding the attraction and encouraging the behavior.

One I just know better than go there. Too many flashing red lights, and things I would want to change about him before he would be “datable.” All of us smart women know that is a deal breaker. Never go into a relationship thinking you can change him. You can’t. We will remain “just friends.”

The other? I am just completely not attracted to him. Not to mention he is a stiff tongue kisser – eeeewwwwww. I thought I would never meet that guy again after high school. Apparently, they still exist into adulthood. The future looks bleak. He mentioned several times before I left that we needed to hang out and that he’d call me. And he did. I haven’t returned the call yet. But I can’t decide which is worse: to call back and keep encouraging him until we inevitably go out, and I have to tell him that it isn’t going anywhere; call him back and tell him I can’t go out with him over the phone; or ignoring him until I will inevitably see him again with our friends.

Like I said, I am a complete asshole.

Transitions

Has it really been that long since my last post?? Time seems to be flying these days. It will be over a week before I even realize I have entered the next month. Time is slipping away from me. But, considering the stress of studying for the bar exam, this is probably a very good thing.

This seems to be a period of transition. I have many friends that are in major transitions of their lives. Divorces, marriages, new homes, new loves, break-ups, engagements, babies, new jobs, new relationships, etc. Maybe that's just where I am in life. I will be "thirty-something" at the end of the month. Many people, including my mother, have told me about how great the thirties are: a lot of respect professionally, decent money,but relatively little responsibility. Considering this often comes from parents who have so much more responsibility than me, I have to think the next decade can only be fabulous. Most of the transitions are positive moves, whether or not they appear pretty on the face of it. No, they all are ... I believe that everything happens for a reason and as cliche as it is, what doesn't kill us, make us stronger. And better. People who have been handed everything on a silver platter all of their lives are shallow for a reason. Not saying that it is their fault, but I'm glad I am not one of them. No education, amount of money, or book learning can replace real life experiences.

And why exactly is Jason Priestly back on television? Ah, I digress ...

The dating scene isn't so blog-worthy these days. But I really am happier than I have been in years ... maybe ever. Life seems rather easy, and I think I have it easier than most - although I'm not sure my friends agree. I am lucky. I don't deny it. Yes, I work hard, but I also fuck up as much as the next, but for some reason, I still land on top. I think it is a matter of solid values. Not values that imposed on me by work, my parents, religion, society or anything else; but values that i TRULY believe in. It doesn't matter WHAT you believe, as long as you really believe it and live it. The people that have similar values will be attracted - it is that simple. How often do you hang out with people who don't have the same baseline values as you? Not saying that you aren't different from them or chose different options than your friends, but no matter what you guys click. I like to think that the reason I have the BEST friends EVER is because I am also a good friend. It works and no matter what, these people will be by your side forever - so chose wisely and don't just follow fads - good peeps are good peeps. The most miserable people are those who don't know themselves and only follow everyone else hoping to find something that works.

All of this lofty discussion actually has a point. I am a VERY happy single woman. I take care of myself, and I like it that way. Eventually, I want something more, but now, I really like where I am and who I am. And I am so glad that a relationship does not define me. I guess my fear is that am TOO happy here and have closed the door to any serious relationship with a man because of the effort required. Why fix something that isn't broken???

Well, if for nothing else, for the sex .... oh, and so I don't have to continue to hire a husband to do the work around the house! Well, not really, but I like to keep up the hard-ass facade.

Difficulties

When did dating get so HARD? It is usually so easy, even if exhausting at times. CJG and I had planned to meet for a drink on a certain day, but then he vanished. I suggested a place to meet and I never heard back from him. It has been over 2 weeks. Who does that? I think he just earned his third strike .... I mean, if he was just hoping to get a yes from me, he obviously doesn't know me at all. It isn't all that difficult to get me to agree to meet for a drink ... I am rather easy on that request.

The Redhead is NOT a daddy afterall - blood tests confirmed. Not that I really care, but I was sooo curious. And I also had an instinct that it wasn't his, but he was SO determined that it was. He even bought stuff at Babies R Us. Are you serious? And he told me he was disappointed that she isn't his. Why would you want to bring a child into the world when the baby momma wants nothing to do with you? Seems like the right thing happened, if you ask me. Either way, he has become someone I want nothing to do with ever again.

Rep One is being somewhat distant. He left early last night from a gathering and we really haven't talked much at all outside of the random emails here and there. Not sure what I want, except attention, but something seems a little odd. It wasn't really awkward, just different. I guess we are all a little weird right now ... Graduation means serious life changes. Who can predict the future?

boy crazy

i recently realized that i am some what boy crazy. i find even the most ordinary guy cute. not because i am desperate (or at least that is what i tell myself), but more because I am happy and seeing the best in everyone. I have always enjoyed men, but this is kinda fun. Hasn't been this way in a long time, and I like it. A lot of men are cute, and I can actually flirt unabashedly for the first time in years without embarrassment. Ahhhh ... so nice.

No real prospects to speak of, but I am having a good time and putting myself out there. We shall see where that leads ....

i heart vince vaughn

the school crush had kinda disappeared from my radar for a while. we all hung out as usual, but really had kinda forgotten about it. liked the flirtations, but it was all in good fun.

then a large group of us went out for final drinks. we were done with 4 years of grueling law school classes, and it was time to celebrate at our usual watering hole. it wasn't really odd that we were left as the last two, somewhat typical. we walk out, and he offers a ride home, and of course i accept. metro v bmw? seriously people, who do you take me for?

anyway, nothing unusual until we arrive at my place. i gather my stuff and lean over for a thank you smooch on the cheek, and he moves in for a more substantial smooch ... and i don't resist (duh). I had a hard time not laughing at the situation considering the 3 year crush, but i finally decided i had to be a good girl and remove myself from the car. he did offer to take me home with him, but i resisted the temptation ... more because i was completely not prepared to be naked (i.e., haven't shaved in at least a week ... anywhere!).

hmmm ... .so where to go now. he thinks i'm not interested, and i wouldn't mind kicking that door open to see what happens. then again, i prefer not to go into the awkwardness stage and would prefer to forget it completely. so, i have decided to let things take their course. we'll see what happens ... or should i be more assertive? for such a confident woman, the doubts are always there in ever situation. i guess that is part of the fun.

Doh!

It just dawned on me that the Redhead and I never laugh when we are together. We are compatible on a very basic level, but otherwise, we talk about very generic topics. And never laugh or really have fun with each other. I'm not sure why it took me this long to pinpoint the real problem, but leave it to studying for finals to make one think of something completely unrelated to the law. The problem is that there is nothing techinically WRONG, but there is nothing particularly GREAT either.

Pssht. I'm so over that one ....

lightning crashes

back in college i had what i call a "steady hook-up". we never dated, but never had sex, either. just an unspoken understanding that if neither of us had our eye on someone else at a party, we would go home together. even after college we had a few run-ins. not as regularly, most likely because of his on-again, off-again girlfriend. i never asked their status, nor did he often provide the information. i let myself believe that if was seeking me out, then they were off-again.

that is, until the engagement. at that point, i had to face up to the fact that it was real. other than the fact that she once smacked miss v for no good reason, i really have nothing against her. she seems like a nice girl, but i really don't know her well.

i always made an effort to stay clear of the Stand-By while in serious relationships with others. i knew better of myself than to think that i could socialize with him with a few drinks and and not refuse his advances ... or at least be very tempted not to do so. i didn't want to put myself in that position, so i avoided it. he wasn't so careful and i have to admit that we had our moments while he was engaged.

to this day Stand-By and i are good friends. we talk regularly via IM and keep up with each others' lives to a basic extent. he has been married for several years and we haven't seen each other or "had relations" since the marriage. he tells me he completely abides by his vows. as his counselor, i make sure he realizes it is now a LEGAL obligation on top of a moral one. dontcha hate lawyers?

the other day he drops a bomb on me that i had been expecting, but thought i would know much earlier: he has a newborn little boy. i think it is great, but am shocked that i know nothing of it until a couple of months after the fact ... it isn't like you dont know that is on its way. in fact, i have asked MANY times if children were in the future and he always blew me off. (to his credit, once i confronted him, he swore he thought he told me and sent me a picture and told me all about him.)

then, a few days later, we get on the topic of my morals and ethics (as a lawyer).
Stand-By: don't worry... i won't sell you out when you run for DA
Me: ha! what do you have on me?
Stand-By: you shouldn't have to ask
Me: i can't think of anything illegal or repugnant that you know about ... hmmmm ... so, i drank to excess and made out with you - as far as i know that is all legal
Stand-By: "drank to excess". w ell played. you are good, b/c that was MY argument

but a few hours later (after he's had a few drinks):
Stand-By: for the record... as bad as i was... i should feel worse than i do. guess that makes me a bad guy. but i just wanted to let you know that i'm the bad guy... anyway... something i should have said to you a while back... not that it matters... but just in case
Me: no worries. what happened in the past is over
Stand-By: good... i won't lie and say that certain folks are good at making me feel different

For once, the Stand-By has taken me COMPLETELY off-guard and I have NO idea where he is coming from. I guess he has guilt afterall ... or someone is making him feel guilty. maybe it is fatherhood.

conservative republicans LOVE me

why aren't the ultra cool, liberal types in to me nearly as much as the super yuppie conservative, working-for-the-man-and-liking-it types??? although i do enjoy the challenge on the first initial dates, in the long run we both know it just won't work. unless of course they want to pay off my law school loans while i providing public interest legal services to the less-fortunate around town for the rest of my life. told ya it would never work.

booty calls and daddy should never be in the same sentence

alright, alright, alright! a new post for all you crazy kids. as you can imagine, it is tough to follow that last post, true? but for your entertainment, i will try!

i hadn't heard from the redhead much this week and thought maybe he was catching my very subtle hints of disinterest, but i was apparently wrong. he was all about the booty calls this weekend - tried both friday and saturday, but luckily i wiggled my way out of both. half of me wants to invite him on over and straight up dump him, while the other half of me doesn't have the energy to put forth the effort. Then again, it is probably much less energy than it will take to avoid his constant booty calls. (on the by and by, HE has labeled his own calls as booty calls!)

you just made me throw up a little

Ever find out something about someone that completely changes how you see that person? Something so major that you can never go back to the way it was before you knew? You may want to sit down for this one. I wish someone had warned me.

After a movie and dinner, the redhead drove me back to his place and then dropped a bomb on me. Back in July, he slept with some random. A few months later, she tells him she is pregnant, and he is one of two possible daddies. She is now engaged to the other possible daddy and just wants the redhead to do a blood test when the child is born to determine if he owes her child support. Classy bitch this one is. The fact that he may have a child or that he slept with someone while we were most definitely on a break is not the issue. There are few things that really do bother me about this scenario:

1. While I was standing by my mother'’s hospital bed watching her suffer and eventually lose her battle with breast cancer, he is out bumping uglies with this tramp. No wonder he also forgot my birthday.
2. Not only is he fucking her, but clearly, he must have not been using a condom or there wouldn'’t be a real question as to whether or not he was a possible candidate. Had he found out he had a child from an act of indiscretion many years prior, I probably would not really care that much. We all make mistakes. But at 40-something, you'’d think he would know better. It isn'’t like he drinks and can blame it on a stupid drunken incident. Is this chick so hot that he just couldn'’t control his primate male instinct to procreate immediately?!??!?
3. He finds out in October, but waits until March to tell me with ZERO warning after I am trapped at his place without a car. I am like the 15th or so other person in his life he told. I can't think of 15 people in my life I would tell until the test came back positive -– which makes me think he is proud of his behavior. I can understand being proud of your child once you know it'’s yours, but to be proud of the fact that you may or may not be a dad of a child with a woman you randomly hooked up with 8 months ago? I'’m at a loss.

I am not angry, which signals to me that I really don't have any substantive feelings for the redhead. Not that I have any technical right to be angry since we weren'’t exclusive or even together at the time, but the situation is just so wrong on so many levels that I would feel justified in being angry. But I'm not. My stomach dropped when he told me, and I was speechless, but that was more of shock than emotion. I may feel differently in a few days, but two days worth of processing the information has me nauseated at the thought of him (or maybe that is just a result of too many drinks last night). He will surely think my reasoning for breaking things off will be because I don'’t want children, but honestly, that has NOTHING to do with my decision. If I thought there was a future for us, a child would not be a reason to walk away, even for me. The decision will be the same whether or not he turns out to be a daddy.

spring is in the air!

the trees are starting to bud and the warm weather is teasing us. everyone is in a great mood and excited to be outside basking in the warm sunlight. ahhhh ... flirting season is here! and in case i had forgotten to take notice, i've had a few reminders from the ghosts of dating-past.

party boy inquired as to my st patty's day festivity plans (i have none since i am running a 5K on saturday morning. BORING!)

the redhead has been contacting me much more regularly ... almost daily. tonight was an invite to do my reading at his house while he finished up some work himself. although inviting, i really need to get some stuff done tonight and i know better than to think it will happen over there.

and last, but certainly not least (in the entertainment category, that is), cranberry juice guy tracked me down on myspace. he left a very brief, but telling message: lookin' good! I will most definitely reply, but only after i am sure he has noticed that i have logged on and NOT replied yet. i don't call this blog dating games for nothing! besides, he always plays hard to get, but expects you to be at his beck and call. he will contact you when he wants to hang out, but not a minute (much less a day) before that moment. he calls it being spontaneous. i call it disrespectful, noncommittal and plain out lazy. but he is always good for a few laughs over a spontaneous beer!

cheap entertainment

put a harness or collar on a cat that isn't used to wearing one. the cat will contort himself in ways that you could never imagine, and he will continue to do it until that damn thing is off! hours worth of cheap entertainment ...

Is it that obvious that my dating life is a bit slow these days????

i spy

a man in a very pink oxford, metallic silver miami-vice jacket, light jeans and black loafers. I would have guessed him gay, but he did not have on a coat in 30 degree weather. A gay man would surely take the opportunity to wear a fabulous leather or fur coat. Maybe he was European ...

Baby , Be My Valentine

Instead of spending Valentines Day having a romantic dinner with the man in my life (my cat), I am spending it in the delivery room with my sister. I really couldn't be happier about it. Well, I'd be happier if my niece would actually make an appearance tonight! I've been sitting here for since before noon. They aren't expecting things to start happening until after midnight! Ugh - no valentine baby after all! This whole baby thing is way too much anxiety for me, and I have to keep my wits about me because my sister is not the calmest person on earth (understatement).

But Where's the Guy I Thought I was Meeting?

Go on a semi-blind date. We have pictures of each other and have emailed back and forth. He seems smart, witty, and funny. I am somewhat excited, but have been here so many times that I know the chances of greatness are slim.

We meet at the Science Club on 19th street. My first visit, and I definitely like the place. I grab a table and a glass of red that the bartender suggested - and it was a great suggestion.

My date arrives (we won't bother with a nickname since he did not gain blog name status), orders a glass of the house red wine after asking about the happy hour specials.

Note to the men: NEVER ask about specials on your first date!!!! It makes you look cheap, immature, and completely uncharming. You don't have to ask for the most expensive thing, but know what you want without asking what is on special.

We chat for a bit about basically nothing. At the decision point (i.e., empty wine glass), he offers to grab a bite. I politely decline using my school work excuse, but suggest one more glass of wine thinking maybe he would loosen up a bit after a second glass.

I would swear this is not the same guy I emailed with. He had almost zero social skills, no conversation starters and just plain out DULL! At the end of the date, I paid my half of the tab, and we went our separate ways.

Another note to the men: If you like your date, pay even if she offers to pay. Dutch is too platonic for a first date and indicates you are not interested.

Wow, even my dates are boring these days. Maybe I should stop dating lawyers.

sweetness

The Redhead has a cold. Apparently I am coming down with something as well because I voluntarily offered to drive to his place after class and bring him soup! For anyone who knows me, this is MAJOR - I don't ever volunteer to do anything nice for a man unless I am getting something in return, I don't drive except on weekends, and I go nowhere after class. After I made the offer over IM, I couldn't believe my own eyes. Did I really just type that??? I think I need to drink more or something ... can't let it get around that I have the ability to be nice to men. My entire reputation is at stake!

retainer agreement

Redhead - I didn't get call from you this weekend.

Me - Was I supposed to call you this weekend?

Redhead - only if you were interested in my services

Me - Well, I don't like to take advantage of a benefit.

Redhead - Didn't you know that I am on call? You call, I provide services in exchange for participation from you.


That is what lawyers call a retainer agreement.

double duty

Earlier this week I met the work nerd for … tea? Who meets for tea in the 21st century? I am not a huge tea fan, but what the hell. Come to find out, he really isn’t a big tea drinker either! He is a really nice guy and the meeting wasn’t bad, just not exciting. He’s a little younger than me, but from Canada – may have to keep him in my back pocket in case I decide I need to head to the border one day …

Later that same night …

A booty call from the redhead. He is “in the neighborhood”. Sure you are. Not that I’m complaining, of course. From the very beginning of our ‘relationship’ the redhead has been urging me to invite one or more of my girlfriends to join us. He also suggested that we invite another couple to join us. When I used the excuse that I wasn’t aware of any of my friends that would be interested, he started looking at ads in the City Paper for places to meet people who would be. Soon after that things went downhill for me personally, and we really didn’t see much of each other. He has apparently picked up where we left off.

He wants us to go here:

WARNING: THIS LINK IS NOT WORK-SAFE!!!!
www.entrenousqueen.com/


This is a lifestyle club that allows only couples and single women to enter. It is supposed to be an upscale, club environment for people over 21. The average age is around 27-30. No sex, no nudity allowed, but “propositions” highly encouraged. Although he has definitely aroused my curiosity, I am not sure I am ready to go yet. I tried to tell him that the people would not be as glamorous as the website indicates. There may be a couple of hotties, but in general, the hotties will be paid by the club to be there.

Don’t get me wrong, I am open to new experiences sexually and otherwise – willing to try just about anything once. Maybe I am just not comfortable going with HIM. Or maybe I need time to get used to the idea – or, most likely, he just needs to catch me after a few drinks!

double standards

why is it that women have few issues with loving on other women while men have to sit a seat apart in movie theaters? women in general are becoming more comfortable with their sexuality than men. men have always been the sexual predators, and all of a sudden things are changing. men are slow to accept change while women tend to roll with it much better. We like gay men, we like gay porn, hell ... we just like porn and could care less who is involved. Men are much more static in their preferences. Guys seem to think admitting that a guy is attractive or befriending a gay man immediately makes him homosexually-suspect.

I'd like to let all of you men in on a little secret: women like men who are tolerant and accepting of gay men. They are like our best girlfriends - you dis them, they convince us to dump you. That simple. Like it.

For example, a few of us women got together the other night, had way too many drinks and ended up smooching on each other. I think it may have been quite a spectacle at the bar, but we didn't really notice. It was fun, but I think it is more because we know the effect it has on men (i.e., attention), we also know that potential or current male dates encourage it, and there are no strings attached. Straight women can smooch on other women without any fear of repercussions. Double standard? It is about time one fell in our favor ...

Red Skinned Apple Tax

The Redskins are in the playoffs, I passed my tax class, prince signed with a real record company, and fiona apple released a new album ... all in all, seems like it may be a crazy year of firsts in quite a long time. (okay, so fiona's album was technically released in 2005, but who really honestly noticed after a 6 year hiatus???).

Things are starting to feel normal again. Not that I am sure what normal is, but this will work. I don't feel too crazy. But then again, classes start in less than 12 hours for me, so I'm wondering how long that feeling will last. But I am purely enjoying the feeling for now.

The Redhead made an appearance last week ... just long enough to satisfy my cravings. He was cat-sick for the rest of the week. Poor guy. Not sure what he is thinking, but it was good to see him again on my terms. I like him when he's around and when I am talking to him, but don't really miss him when he is not. I think about calling him, but then I choose sleep instead. Is that an adult thing or a "i'm not really interested" thing? Maybe a little of both.

I'm still trying to work on that cold I've been fighting for several weeks ... ever since I got my flu shot, hmmmm. Not that I really think that has anything to do with it, but it is a rather fishy coincidence. Not to mention that I have probably had an alcoholic beverage (or 10) every day other than 2 since that time either, but what does that matter?

Although not one of those fanatic female football fans, if you're looking for me, i'll be at the bar chanting for the skins to beat the sheikh this weekend ... GO SKINS!!

still hanging in there

my NYE was overall a great time. Just a few of us good friends together at my pad - lots of drinks, munchies, kisses and poker. Not surprisingly, the evening ended around 6am with lots of drama. Once sobered up, we are all doing just fine!

2005 has a been a slow dating year for me, but 2006 looks a bit more promising! not only do i have a "light" semester & graduate this year, but also a few dark horses are in the running and the Red Head has started making suggestive comments rather frequently recently. Is he willing to risk cat allergies and visit? we will see. i guess it is somewhat appropriate to end the year talking to him since i started it talking to him. Party Boy has made contact, but seemingly more of a friend thing. The Hottie is off the market currently, which is a damn shame - but admittedly for the best. SG and luckily the anonymous work geek & Rugby Boy were never to be heard from again. The Neighbor moved to Kentucky. The work nerd alert and I are making plans to meet for coffee or a drink soon.

I ran into the Vegetarian at a holiday party and had to struggle to leave the conversation - he was not going anywhere as long as I was willing to talk to him. Even my step-mom noticed!

My True Love is growing like a, well, kitten! And taught his brother to like beer, too!

The recent crushes are fading away quickly - out of sight, out of mind. #2 moved to a new floor in the building & I have only spent one evening with #1 since the original post. but alas, school is starting again in less than a week. stay tuned ...