Monday, March 20, 2006

you just made me throw up a little

Ever find out something about someone that completely changes how you see that person? Something so major that you can never go back to the way it was before you knew? You may want to sit down for this one. I wish someone had warned me.

After a movie and dinner, the redhead drove me back to his place and then dropped a bomb on me. Back in July, he slept with some random. A few months later, she tells him she is pregnant, and he is one of two possible daddies. She is now engaged to the other possible daddy and just wants the redhead to do a blood test when the child is born to determine if he owes her child support. Classy bitch this one is. The fact that he may have a child or that he slept with someone while we were most definitely on a break is not the issue. There are few things that really do bother me about this scenario:

  1. While I was standing by my mother'’s hospital bed watching her suffer and eventually lose her battle with breast cancer, he is out bumping uglies with this tramp. No wonder he also forgot my birthday.
  2. Not only is he fucking her, but clearly, he must have not been using a condom or there wouldn'’t be a real question as to whether or not he was a possible candidate. Had he found out he had a child from an act of indiscretion many years prior, I probably would not really care that much. We all make mistakes. But at 40-something, you'’d think he would know better. It isn'’t like he drinks and can blame it on a stupid drunken incident. Is this chick so hot that he just couldn'’t control his primate male instinct to procreate immediately?!??!?
  3. He finds out in October, but waits until March to tell me with ZERO warning after I am trapped at his place without a car. I am like the 15th or so other person in his life he told. I can't think of 15 people in my life I would tell until the test came back positive -– which makes me think he is proud of his behavior. I can understand being proud of your child once you know it'’s yours, but to be proud of the fact that you may or may not be a dad of a child with a woman you randomly hooked up with 8 months ago? I'’m at a loss.

I am not angry, which signals to me that I really don't have any substantive feelings for the redhead. Not that I have any technical right to be angry since we weren'’t exclusive or even together at the time, but the situation is just so wrong on so many levels that I would feel justified in being angry. But I'm not. My stomach dropped when he told me, and I was speechless, but that was more of shock than emotion. I may feel differently in a few days, but two days worth of processing the information has me nauseated at the thought of him (or maybe that is just a result of too many drinks last night). He will surely think my reasoning for breaking things off will be because I don'’t want children, but honestly, that has NOTHING to do with my decision. If I thought there was a future for us, a child would not be a reason to walk away, even for me. The decision will be the same whether or not he turns out to be a daddy.


  1. i am still speechless about this... i will have to come back and comment when my stutter stops!

  2. drop him. even w/ the arrangement you guys have, he is clearly messed up in that a) he has told 15 people and you were #15 (wonder if the other 14 are other girls he's doing)--i'm like you i would tell maybe one or 2 people but heck i don't even know 15 people and b) he tells you in MARCH when the little bundle is about to get here and i think he is telling you cause he thinks it might be his and c) he wants to know how that will affect you guys and d) he's just a moron b/c he should at 40 know how to use a condom (and maybe he did b/c i do know people who have gotten prego even w/ a condom and b.c.) and e)i just think the fact that he waited this long to tell you means it is not that big of a deal to him until now and what does that say for all the major things in his life that will come up in the future? i mean a KID is a BIG effin deal you know? so he sits on this info for months and brings it up right before the stork arrives 'just in case' it is his?!?!?! i mean, what does that say about his sense of urgency in the big things that matter in life!?@?!?!?!?! DROP HIM LIKE A HOT POTATO MY FRIEND. you can do better. seriously. oh, but just so you know, you are not alone in that finding something out about someone so major and changes your opinion about that person.........a friend that i thought was a friend just put her dog down b/c she admitted this is hte second dog she's "had to put down" because, and i'm quoting her, she "just didn't feel like training him and now he's out of control and is the dominant dog in the house and because he's the alpha dog, i guess i can't handle it and i do'nt want to pay a trainer to rehabilitate him." so she just killed a perfectly healthy 2 year old dog b/c she allowed him to dominate the household and now she's bitching about it and decides its her right to kill him. even her vet refused to do it and tried to find him a foster home as well as a behaviorist. i even found her a behaviorist who would train him for FREE and she claimed she never got the message until after she put hte dog down even though i had sent it to her 4 days yes, i understand how you can learn something about someone that makes you completely change your opinion about them. especially when she says to me, 'i know this is wrong but i just can't deal w/ it anymore--can you help me come to peace with my decision?' and i said, 'nope. i can't. ' so we are no longer friends. anyway........who's blog is this anyway!?!?!? am i horning in on your blog? i think so! i'm sorry. apparently i needed to vent. back to you...drop the redhead. he's a dumba** who can't keep it in his pants. that is too much baggage to deal w/ if it is his kid. run!!!!!