Thursday, August 25, 2005

diet dr pepper

I stroll into work one day to find an unopened diet dr pepper bottle on my desk. Underneath the bottle is a note:

Thought you would enjoy this. Have a good day. –M

Who is M? Who knows I like diet dr pepper? Hell, who knows me at all at work? People I see around the office flash through my mind, but for the life of me I cannot recall one whose name begins with an M. It occurred to me that I shouldn't take a drink from a stranger -- much like what your parents tell you when you are little at Halloween. But lord knows, I've taken more than that from a stranger at a bar without even knowing the first initial of his name. So, I said fuck it and drank it.

A bit later, I get an email from a hotmail account. The sender’s name comes up as “M****** L********” and the address is something random and nondescript. M says he likes my new hair color and hopes I enjoyed the drink. I thank him and ask if I know him.

No, but he has seen me around. Am I interested in lunch sometime? Does it bother me if he is younger than I am?

No, you freak, it bothers me that you know who I am, have access to my office, know my email address, know how old I am, know what I drink, but will not tell me who you are or ask me out like a normal person. I wonder who he is, how he knows how old I am, and if his balls are visible to the naked eye. I vote no considering he actually thought this was an acceptable way to approach a woman. I didn't bother to reply this time. Thanks for playing, but no. I like my men with spines. He may as well have had a friend pass me a note during homeroom:

Do you think M is cute? Circle one: Yes, No or Maybe


  1. Sounds like he was going for the 'creepy geek' angle and nailed it. Heck, he might even have a Superman shirt laying around somewhere.

    +5 points for using the words, 'balls' and 'naked eye' in a sentence.

    Love ya.

  2. i'm so glad to see your blog. i have been checking to see if there's anything, this was back in july or even june if i remember correctly, right? so i take it there's been nothing recently? here's my two cents: only someone younger WOULD act like that. all cute-sy and 'rhymes with wussy'. think 'robert powell.' blegh. look what kind of danger the younger kind causes..........stay away, if not for the mere sake that he seems creepy and missing two appendiges.....(eh you pointed out since they are not visible to the naked eye), for the sake that he is younger and acting like he's in 5th grade. LOSER. consider a restraining order as well....hey, maybe it's 'music-n-water' ha ha ha

  3. yeah, this was around the end of june and july. I was a little behind on my blogging, but i am catching up! No word from him since (whew!).