Saturday, February 11, 2006

But Where's the Guy I Thought I was Meeting?

Go on a semi-blind date. We have pictures of each other and have emailed back and forth. He seems smart, witty, and funny. I am somewhat excited, but have been here so many times that I know the chances of greatness are slim.

We meet at the Science Club on 19th street. My first visit, and I definitely like the place. I grab a table and a glass of red that the bartender suggested - and it was a great suggestion.

My date arrives (we won't bother with a nickname since he did not gain blog name status), orders a glass of the house red wine after asking about the happy hour specials.

Note to the men: NEVER ask about specials on your first date!!!! It makes you look cheap, immature, and completely uncharming. You don't have to ask for the most expensive thing, but know what you want without asking what is on special.

We chat for a bit about basically nothing. At the decision point (i.e., empty wine glass), he offers to grab a bite. I politely decline using my school work excuse, but suggest one more glass of wine thinking maybe he would loosen up a bit after a second glass.

I would swear this is not the same guy I emailed with. He had almost zero social skills, no conversation starters and just plain out DULL! At the end of the date, I paid my half of the tab, and we went our separate ways.

Another note to the men: If you like your date, pay even if she offers to pay. Dutch is too platonic for a first date and indicates you are not interested.

Wow, even my dates are boring these days. Maybe I should stop dating lawyers.


  1. Maybe, because he isn't brain dead, he sensed that you weren't interested, so he let you pay your way. When a woman offers to pay her own way, it's usually because 1) she isn't interested and doesn't want the guy to get the impression that she is, or 2) she is just being polite.

    He actually did you a favor by doing this, because now he has no reason to think that you are interested (see 1).

  2. I agree that he either sensed it, or (gasp!) he wasn't interested in me. I am not complaining that he didn't pay, I just stated that him taking my money was a strong indicator that he was not interested in pursuing me any further. I believe that the person who does the inviting does the paying. So, if I asked a guy out (which I have done many times), I will pay even if they offer to pay - unless I am completely not interested.

  3. Totally agree with both "notes to men."