Some things never change

The bartender asked me out to dinner at Ceiba last weekend. Great place and the staff were phenomenal. But this isn’t a DC food blog …

He was already tipsy when I met him at the bar, which immediately put me slightly on edge. That was the one thing I could never handle about him – his inability to handle his alcohol. You would think a bartender would be the last person to get obnoxiously drunk, but not so in this case. Once we sat down to dinner, I encouraged him to eat as much as possible, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. By the end of dinner, he was well beyond tipsy and talking rather loudly. He managed to mention marriage (to me specifically) at least 10 times throughout the dinner and admitted that he made up some bogus story of finding my number transferring numbers to a new cell phone to have an excuse to call me again.

Against my better judgment, we went back over to the bar for one last drink. The GM of the restaurant was having dinner and was unfortunate enough to be exposed to my date. He managed to embarrass me, which is a big feat, I must admit – both of which was said loud enough for the entire bar to hear:

1. He told me I wanted to kiss the GM, which was pretty funny once the GM announced that he wouldn't be interested because I wasn’t playing on the right team.
2. He told the GM that we once dated (that’s a stretch) and that I broke up with him because he had a small penis (that’s not as much of a stretch).

Little does he know that I “broke up with him” because I can’t stand him after he’s been drinking. I thought I subtly implied such during dinner – making fun of him for the numerous booty calls years ago and mentioning that I never wanted anything to do with him we he came by wasted. But alas, men are not good at subtle hints, and I should have realized this.

As we were leaving, he said something rude to me. I honestly can’t remember what it was, but it wasn’t too serious because I was smiling to myself as I walked away to find my own cab home. It was just a good excuse to get out of the situation …