Sunday, September 02, 2007

Mr Potato Jerk

As you can tell from my last post, I recently split with my last boy. He was by far the best guy I've dated in my life, but for some reason, neither of us had the love spark. I could have hung out with him forever - we laughed, always had fun doing everything and never fought about anything. Why does that not equal love, I will never understand. Although it doesn't feel like it, hanging on to that would be settling for less than I deserve. The spark really has to be there to keep it going, even if everything else seems to be perfect. I wasn't ready to toss in the towel just yet, but he was 'older and wiser', I guess (but see below). Why hang on any longer?

The manner he went about approaching the subject not so mature and wise:
He had asked me to go with him across country to visit his family several months ago. I hesitantly agree. I am not ready to meet his family, but am excited he wants me to. I decided I had to get past my anxiety and just do it. (Lesson learned: gut instincts right about 99% of the time.)

A day before he flies out (I'm supposed to fly out 3 days later), he comes down to "brief me on Idaho." We hang out like usual for about 3 hours, discussing arrangements, different family members, what we be doing, what I should pack, etc. I walk out of the room to get ready for bed. Come back into the living room, and he says: "We have a problem." Tells me I am the best girlfriend, but it just isn't working and that he's really sorry, but has to go. He walks out the door and flies across the country the next day, leaving me completely blindsided and confused. And embarrassed: I have to go back to work after requesting (i.e., fighting for) the week off; cancel my plans for kitty sitting; explain to all my friends when I didn't know what to say; etc. That is ANYTHING but the mature way to handle a breakup.

I understand that it was difficult for him, but seriously, GROW SOME BALLS! Tell me a month and a half ago when you started having doubts so I would at least have a little warning. Don't act like everything is great and still make me plan for a trip you knew I wasn't going on and that was the source of extreme anxiety and stress for me. That isn't just rude, it's cruel. I thought dating an older man would avoid most of the stupid young guy communication problems and games, but boy, I have never been more wrong. Apparently, older, never-been-married guys have commitment issues and don't know how to bow out gracefully.

So, I'm back to the dating scene again. That will most likely mean there will be much more frequent posts here. So, I'm glad to be back, and please comment away! Send me your stories, and let's have some fun!