Thursday, March 17, 2005


Three. There is something about the number that I haven’t been able to pinpoint. Particularly in dating. I do know that if I don’t like a guy, he will never see date 3 with me. I have found that if I am getting dumped, I won’t see date 3 with him either (nor will he call to let me know when I think things are going fine, but that is a completely different subject altogether). What I don’t know is what date 3 actually means to most people, particularly men. For some, it seems to be the appropriate time for a first kiss, for others, they think it is perfectly acceptable to ask you to spend the night, and still others, ask you to be their girlfriend. But, no way around it, date 3 means something. So much so, I dread the third date. No, I dread the time period preceding the third date until after the forth. It is full of insecurity and self-doubting. Two traits I wish I could delete from my character.

Will he call?
What if he doesn't call?
Why hasn't he called? Play by play with friends over the last date to determine what possibly went wrong.
It isn't you, its him. You intimidate him. Sure ... like this 5'2 petite frame intimidates a hamster.

The time period surrounding #3 is delicate. Fragile.

Why am I disclosing my third date theory to all of you at this moment? Clearly, because I am currently in that time period with not one, but 2 men. I do have 1 third date scheduled for this week. To my utter dismay and complete discontent, the time period between date 2 and 3 has been approximately 6 weeks. Does this mean that if there is a date 4 that I will be in limbo for approximately 3 months total with this guy?!?!? I’m not sure I can tolerate that. Nor am I sure I can tolerate his intolerance for alcohol. I mean, what attorney in their right mind doesn’t drink? Obviously, he is in the wrong state of mind. I guess we will see how that plays out when I order a glass of red wine at dinner. The last guy I dated who didn’t drink brought me white zin when I ordered a glass of zinfandel. The HORROR!

I should have ended it then. It should have been a sign. No, it was a sign that I opted to ignore. I will never make that mistake again. Or am I doing it again by going out with this guy?

As for the second guy, well, not sure about him. He’s giving me all the “I’m just not that in to you” signals right now. Which can also be interpreted as the “I’m just too cool to act like I’m in to you” signals as well, but I'm more of a realist. I've been here too many times to think positively. Either way, they are making me think twice about accepting a date 3 offer, if there is one. I will. I always do – just to see if I was right? Just to force them to dump me, or do something that I consider a deal breaker? Or maybe, just maybe, I’m hoping he will prove me wrong. Highly unlikely. I hate to be wrong.

But I am … often.

But never about date 3. So far, anyway.

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