you just made me throw up a little

Ever find out something about someone that completely changes how you see that person? Something so major that you can never go back to the way it was before you knew? You may want to sit down for this one. I wish someone had warned me.

After a movie and dinner, the redhead drove me back to his place and then dropped a bomb on me. Back in July, he slept with some random. A few months later, she tells him she is pregnant, and he is one of two possible daddies. She is now engaged to the other possible daddy and just wants the redhead to do a blood test when the child is born to determine if he owes her child support. Classy bitch this one is. The fact that he may have a child or that he slept with someone while we were most definitely on a break is not the issue. There are few things that really do bother me about this scenario:

1. While I was standing by my mother'’s hospital bed watching her suffer and eventually lose her battle with breast cancer, he is out bumping uglies with this tramp. No wonder he also forgot my birthday.
2. Not only is he fucking her, but clearly, he must have not been using a condom or there wouldn'’t be a real question as to whether or not he was a possible candidate. Had he found out he had a child from an act of indiscretion many years prior, I probably would not really care that much. We all make mistakes. But at 40-something, you'’d think he would know better. It isn'’t like he drinks and can blame it on a stupid drunken incident. Is this chick so hot that he just couldn'’t control his primate male instinct to procreate immediately?!??!?
3. He finds out in October, but waits until March to tell me with ZERO warning after I am trapped at his place without a car. I am like the 15th or so other person in his life he told. I can't think of 15 people in my life I would tell until the test came back positive -– which makes me think he is proud of his behavior. I can understand being proud of your child once you know it'’s yours, but to be proud of the fact that you may or may not be a dad of a child with a woman you randomly hooked up with 8 months ago? I'’m at a loss.

I am not angry, which signals to me that I really don't have any substantive feelings for the redhead. Not that I have any technical right to be angry since we weren'’t exclusive or even together at the time, but the situation is just so wrong on so many levels that I would feel justified in being angry. But I'm not. My stomach dropped when he told me, and I was speechless, but that was more of shock than emotion. I may feel differently in a few days, but two days worth of processing the information has me nauseated at the thought of him (or maybe that is just a result of too many drinks last night). He will surely think my reasoning for breaking things off will be because I don'’t want children, but honestly, that has NOTHING to do with my decision. If I thought there was a future for us, a child would not be a reason to walk away, even for me. The decision will be the same whether or not he turns out to be a daddy.

spring is in the air!

the trees are starting to bud and the warm weather is teasing us. everyone is in a great mood and excited to be outside basking in the warm sunlight. ahhhh ... flirting season is here! and in case i had forgotten to take notice, i've had a few reminders from the ghosts of dating-past.

party boy inquired as to my st patty's day festivity plans (i have none since i am running a 5K on saturday morning. BORING!)

the redhead has been contacting me much more regularly ... almost daily. tonight was an invite to do my reading at his house while he finished up some work himself. although inviting, i really need to get some stuff done tonight and i know better than to think it will happen over there.

and last, but certainly not least (in the entertainment category, that is), cranberry juice guy tracked me down on myspace. he left a very brief, but telling message: lookin' good! I will most definitely reply, but only after i am sure he has noticed that i have logged on and NOT replied yet. i don't call this blog dating games for nothing! besides, he always plays hard to get, but expects you to be at his beck and call. he will contact you when he wants to hang out, but not a minute (much less a day) before that moment. he calls it being spontaneous. i call it disrespectful, noncommittal and plain out lazy. but he is always good for a few laughs over a spontaneous beer!

cheap entertainment

put a harness or collar on a cat that isn't used to wearing one. the cat will contort himself in ways that you could never imagine, and he will continue to do it until that damn thing is off! hours worth of cheap entertainment ...

Is it that obvious that my dating life is a bit slow these days????