breathe

I often have to remind myself to just take a few deep breaths and things will improve. I will get through all of the shit that life keeps throwing at me. To be cliche - that which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. And I am improving and each week seems to get better.

Why is it then that I haven't been able to stop crying all day? Luckily, I already had the day off, but I have wasted it listening to one song and crying instead of studying? Maybe if I had a voice or any creative writing talent, I'd be able to release all of this. I guess that is why I blog.

I never intended on this blog to be a "diary" of sorts, but it is definitely morphing into it. And it does help. For any readers that read for the funny dating stories, I must apologize for changing the mood recently. Once I pick myself and everyone else back up, I will hope to make up for it and "throw the cat around" a bit to quote miss v's hubby. probably not to the extent he means, but get myself out there on the dating scene again.

I hope writing now will help me to focus for the rest of the day on the things I need to do. Wish me luck!

Here are the lyrics to the song I can't seem to stop playing:

"Breathe (2am)" - Anna Nalick

2AM and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season.
Yeah, we walk through the doors.
So accusing their eyes like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites! You're all here for the very same reason.

But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl so cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe

In May he turned 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just a day, he said, down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year.
And here in town you can tell he's been down for a while
but, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him
Maybe I'll just sing about it
. . . .

There's a light at each end of this tunnel
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out and these mistakes you've made,
you'll just make them again if you only try turning around

2AM and I'm still awake writing a song
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd 'cause these words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you'll use them however you want to

But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl
so cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe . . .