A virtue I don't have. I am having a good boy week so far: several emails from both boys (Redhead and SG) basically chatting me up about nothing. Neither asking me out for the weekend, just checkin' in. That is definitely a good sign, right? So "they" say. Then why don't I feel very excited about it? Maybe because I am much more worried about getting a decent smooch out of all of this than I am witty email conversation. In today's world of online dating, coffee dates, and speed dating, the whole notion of conventional courtships seems archaic and slow moving. I am soooo impatient! Of course, if he dared contact me every day and expected to see me every weekend, his ass would be thrown to the curb faster than a NY minute! I just want to get passed all the song and dance and of the dating ritual.
I would definitely fail that test where they put the kid in the room with a twinkie and tell her if she doesn't devour it as soon as she is alone in the room, she'll get two in the future. Nope, I'd eat the twinkie and then be left with the zits, fat feeling and no extra twinkie. In the long run, I guess that's okay because 2 twinkies would just lead to more zits and more time on the treadmill. How does all this relate to my 2 dates? I have no idea ... as usual, I lost my train of thought and boarded a completely different one going in the exact opposite direction. But maybe you can tell me where I was going.
Hey, this is my blog, and I'll write whatever I want dammit!
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Bitter El Cheapo
No matter your opinion on whether or not the guy has to pay for the first date, there are certain ways to go about suggesting splitting the check without being overly offensive to either party involved. Bitter El Cheapo was apparently single for a reason. Now, granted, I was 30 minutes late for the date because of traffic, but I had no way to contact him to tell him I was late. I planned to apologize profusely as soon as I got there, but he gave me no such opportunity. After I spotted him and walked over, his first comment:
"Oh, was I wrong? Was the date at 6:30 instead of 6?" with a smart-ass smirk across his face.
Me (completely ticked off by the implication and now with equally smart-ass look on my face and as nonchalantly as possible): "Nope. You were right. I was stuck in traffic and didn't have your number with me. " And I sat down.
El Cheapo graciously rambled off the happy hour specials for me, and I proceeded to order a glass of red wine not included in his list. I'm not sure whether he was stating these for his benefit (doubtful, see end of the story), for mine (doubtful again, he never got over the fact I was late - hence his first name), or for the lack of conversation. Needless to say, the conversation was a bit strained the rest of the time. After about 30 mins, I had had enough and said I needed to go meet some friends for dinner. He promptly got the tab from the bartender. As the bartender turned around, El Cheapo looked over at me and, acting surprised, said: "Oh, do you need to get your tab, too?" The NERVE! Luckily, the bartender had already put us on the same tab. I looked over, saw that my wine was $9, and I quickly handed El Cheapo $12.
El Cheapo: "No, that's okay, you only owe 11." and he hands me back a dollar.
Me: walk out the door and never look back ...
"Oh, was I wrong? Was the date at 6:30 instead of 6?" with a smart-ass smirk across his face.
Me (completely ticked off by the implication and now with equally smart-ass look on my face and as nonchalantly as possible): "Nope. You were right. I was stuck in traffic and didn't have your number with me. " And I sat down.
El Cheapo graciously rambled off the happy hour specials for me, and I proceeded to order a glass of red wine not included in his list. I'm not sure whether he was stating these for his benefit (doubtful, see end of the story), for mine (doubtful again, he never got over the fact I was late - hence his first name), or for the lack of conversation. Needless to say, the conversation was a bit strained the rest of the time. After about 30 mins, I had had enough and said I needed to go meet some friends for dinner. He promptly got the tab from the bartender. As the bartender turned around, El Cheapo looked over at me and, acting surprised, said: "Oh, do you need to get your tab, too?" The NERVE! Luckily, the bartender had already put us on the same tab. I looked over, saw that my wine was $9, and I quickly handed El Cheapo $12.
El Cheapo: "No, that's okay, you only owe 11." and he hands me back a dollar.
Me: walk out the door and never look back ...
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Flamethrowing Superman
SG asked about some of my worst date experiences, which reminded me of how many of my dates I have yet to post on this site. I am not sure how I overlooked the Flamethrowing Superman! I would call him Flaming, but he was definitely not gay. A bit too much of a meat head and almost zero in the clue zone. Hey, look at that, I managed to use two words beginning with a "z" in one sentence! Oh, sorry, back to the story ...
Superman was a friend's boyfriend's friend. You know how those are. You go out with your girlfriend, run into her boyfriend and his friend and you are stuck with this guy for the night. And then he called for a real date. I couldn't go then because I was in the midst of finals, so we pushed it off a couple of weeks. Then came Christmas. This guy actually called me on Christmas Day to wish me a Merry Christmas!!! I should have realized immediately that he was going to be excessively clingy and completely not my type.
As usual, I didn't take the hint and we made a date for the next week. He suggested we go walk around the National Christmas Tree and all the decorations, which I thought was a bit ho-hum, but okay for a first date. Things went downhill from there. He was planning to metro and would meet me on the platform at my stop. He was late. I, of course, wear my typical first date casual, but nice outfit of jeans, nice heeled boots and a cute top. He has on a pull-over fleece, baggy jeans, and tennis shoes. Hmph. Looking at my boots he determines that his idea to walk from the trees to the Capitol won't go over well, which is true, but what exactly is there to see at the Capitol at night anyway?!?!? It isn't like I haven't lived here for the past 7 and a half years or anything. Soooo, we go walk around the state trees, stop by the bon fire and are done in about 30 mins. So, naturally, as we are walking away, I ask where we are headed next. He admits he has no plans for anything else and also has ZERO money. Not just that he needs to hit an ATM, no money at all until he gets paid at midnight that night. Um, why exactly did you ask me out for that night instead of tomorrow night when you would have at least a dollar to your name?!!? Trying to save face and be nice (there's a theme here that I need to put a hold on, huh?), not to mention it is too damn early to do anything else with my friends, I offer to buy him a drink at the Old Ebbit Grill.
Who is at the bar on a date in front of us when we walk in? None other than the Napkin Guy himself! Ha! I was so tempted to say something, but did the typical look away and ignore move instead. Luckily, we found seats far away. I hand Superman my card, ask for a Grey Goose Cosmo (I may as well get a good drink, I AM paying after all) and tell him to order whatever he wants. He gets a Miller Lite. Not that I am a beer snob or anything, but I really hope his reasoning behind his order was that he didn't want me to pay for more than that. I'm guessing it wasn't. As he sits down, he pulls off the fleece and uncovers the t-shirt he has chosen to wear: a black Superman logo tee with flames shooting out from behind the "S"! Ah, what a gem, I think to myself. He says he felt guilted into wearing it because he had gotten it for Christmas. I ask the next logical question: "Did I give it to you for Christmas?"
After two drinks, he has already mentioned that he has to go catch up with his buddies in Clarendon (and checked his voicemail for the details), so I decide it is time to go. He sees me to my metro stop and then proceeds to meet his beer-guzzling, iron-pumping, Superman t-shirt appreciating friends. Then it hits me: this guy has no cash, but plans to go out drinking with his friends for the rest of the night?? I find out later from my friend that Superman and his friends have the bartender hook-up somewhere in Clarendon. If only I were 22 again, he may seem like an almost dream guy: no balls, no brains (which is the only reason he could wear the t-shirt without having balls), no clue and free drinks whenever I wanted. Suuuhhhweeeeet! I would have walked all over him for weeks using his free beer hook-up until I just couldn't justify the annoying fly any longer.
And to top it all off, he called at 10:30 the next morning to tell me he had a good time ... I didn't answer and never heard from him again. Whew!
Superman was a friend's boyfriend's friend. You know how those are. You go out with your girlfriend, run into her boyfriend and his friend and you are stuck with this guy for the night. And then he called for a real date. I couldn't go then because I was in the midst of finals, so we pushed it off a couple of weeks. Then came Christmas. This guy actually called me on Christmas Day to wish me a Merry Christmas!!! I should have realized immediately that he was going to be excessively clingy and completely not my type.
As usual, I didn't take the hint and we made a date for the next week. He suggested we go walk around the National Christmas Tree and all the decorations, which I thought was a bit ho-hum, but okay for a first date. Things went downhill from there. He was planning to metro and would meet me on the platform at my stop. He was late. I, of course, wear my typical first date casual, but nice outfit of jeans, nice heeled boots and a cute top. He has on a pull-over fleece, baggy jeans, and tennis shoes. Hmph. Looking at my boots he determines that his idea to walk from the trees to the Capitol won't go over well, which is true, but what exactly is there to see at the Capitol at night anyway?!?!? It isn't like I haven't lived here for the past 7 and a half years or anything. Soooo, we go walk around the state trees, stop by the bon fire and are done in about 30 mins. So, naturally, as we are walking away, I ask where we are headed next. He admits he has no plans for anything else and also has ZERO money. Not just that he needs to hit an ATM, no money at all until he gets paid at midnight that night. Um, why exactly did you ask me out for that night instead of tomorrow night when you would have at least a dollar to your name?!!? Trying to save face and be nice (there's a theme here that I need to put a hold on, huh?), not to mention it is too damn early to do anything else with my friends, I offer to buy him a drink at the Old Ebbit Grill.
Who is at the bar on a date in front of us when we walk in? None other than the Napkin Guy himself! Ha! I was so tempted to say something, but did the typical look away and ignore move instead. Luckily, we found seats far away. I hand Superman my card, ask for a Grey Goose Cosmo (I may as well get a good drink, I AM paying after all) and tell him to order whatever he wants. He gets a Miller Lite. Not that I am a beer snob or anything, but I really hope his reasoning behind his order was that he didn't want me to pay for more than that. I'm guessing it wasn't. As he sits down, he pulls off the fleece and uncovers the t-shirt he has chosen to wear: a black Superman logo tee with flames shooting out from behind the "S"! Ah, what a gem, I think to myself. He says he felt guilted into wearing it because he had gotten it for Christmas. I ask the next logical question: "Did I give it to you for Christmas?"
After two drinks, he has already mentioned that he has to go catch up with his buddies in Clarendon (and checked his voicemail for the details), so I decide it is time to go. He sees me to my metro stop and then proceeds to meet his beer-guzzling, iron-pumping, Superman t-shirt appreciating friends. Then it hits me: this guy has no cash, but plans to go out drinking with his friends for the rest of the night?? I find out later from my friend that Superman and his friends have the bartender hook-up somewhere in Clarendon. If only I were 22 again, he may seem like an almost dream guy: no balls, no brains (which is the only reason he could wear the t-shirt without having balls), no clue and free drinks whenever I wanted. Suuuhhhweeeeet! I would have walked all over him for weeks using his free beer hook-up until I just couldn't justify the annoying fly any longer.
And to top it all off, he called at 10:30 the next morning to tell me he had a good time ... I didn't answer and never heard from him again. Whew!
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Need a Push to the Gym?
Need that little extra push to go workout (I know, what the hell am I talking about, right?)? Well, buy this season's swimsuit right now. Yes, NOW. You know the stores are already pushing them on you. Have you been to Target recently? Or how about the five thousand catalogs Victoria's Secret sent you this week?? You do know. Anyway, I digress. The point of this entry is this: buy the swimsuit, try it on and walk your little ass to the gym as fast as you can. You won't even have to think about it. Be sure to change into gym clothes first, though ... you'd ruin that pretty little swimsuit you just bought with sweat ...
Well, if you need me, I'll be on the treadmill ...
Well, if you need me, I'll be on the treadmill ...
The Real First Date with SG
SG and I had our first real date. The first first date was a double date with the couple that set us up, so it didn't really count. Although I thought the first one went well, I wasn't sure if it was because of the other couple or not. Not to mention, on a double date you can never really look face to face with your date because you are always sitting beside them.
Anyway, I thought the real date went well despite my lurking head cold. I tried to keep my head down to earth during the conversations, but a couple of times he went financial-speak on me, and well, you know. I don't think he noticed. Did I mention he was a finance guy? Does some type of due diligence for clients or something. Accounting and I just don't get along well, so I'm glad someone likes it. Credit, debit, whatever.
He walked me to the door again, which I thought was very nice. Only a small peck, but seemed awkward ... Maybe that was my fault. I never know what to do when a man is acting like a gentleman, so I freak out and try to get out of the situation. I thought it would be best to give him a peck, say good-night and get inside! Not to mention I have a cold (so a full kiss was out of the question), there are extremely bright lights at my front door and all the desk folk can see what's going on at the door on camera. I'm not one to be the center of attention, especially while showing any signs of affection. Ick!
All in all, not sure how he feels at all, but I would definitely see him again. Unfortunately, that would be date three, and we all know about date three. Or do we? Ah, material for another post ...
Anyway, I thought the real date went well despite my lurking head cold. I tried to keep my head down to earth during the conversations, but a couple of times he went financial-speak on me, and well, you know. I don't think he noticed. Did I mention he was a finance guy? Does some type of due diligence for clients or something. Accounting and I just don't get along well, so I'm glad someone likes it. Credit, debit, whatever.
He walked me to the door again, which I thought was very nice. Only a small peck, but seemed awkward ... Maybe that was my fault. I never know what to do when a man is acting like a gentleman, so I freak out and try to get out of the situation. I thought it would be best to give him a peck, say good-night and get inside! Not to mention I have a cold (so a full kiss was out of the question), there are extremely bright lights at my front door and all the desk folk can see what's going on at the door on camera. I'm not one to be the center of attention, especially while showing any signs of affection. Ick!
All in all, not sure how he feels at all, but I would definitely see him again. Unfortunately, that would be date three, and we all know about date three. Or do we? Ah, material for another post ...
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Cruise calls it off
I get an email from the Tom Cruise look alike today. He has NEVER emailed me before, so I know this is odd. I had IMed him last night when I saw him online, but he never responded. Turns out that he and his new girlfriend were on the computer, and she apparently got very upset that I had sent an IM. So, he sends a rather abrupt email asking me to never IM him again. SORRY dude! Did you ever tell me you had a freakishly jealous girlfriend??? I think not. I thought about replying with some smart ass email stating that he could IM me anytime because, unlike himself, I would never let a jealous boyfriend control me or dictate whom I could talk to (and for all of you grammar nazis, yes I KNOW I ended the sentence in a preposition and i MEANT to *gasp* -- this is my blog, it sounds better that way, and you can just deal). Again, I'm too nice and sent a "sure, you got it, whatever dude" type email. Not nearly as satisfying, but that's why I'm doing this blog, right?
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Current Status
Those are probably the major highlights of the past year. I am now dating a couple of guys (okay, 3 if you want to be technical), but all of which are VERY casual. A date here and there and all less than 3 dates each. Let's name them, shall we?
We have the redhead govt contracts attorney who is 4o, but definitely doesn't look or act that much older than me. Met him on match last year ... he pursued me persistently until I gave in and met him for coffee in November. Finals and the holidays happened, and I didn't see him again until a couple of weeks ago for lunch. Then work happened and he's in Florida pretty much full time for a few weeks .... we'll call him "the redhead" for now.
Next is a guy I was set-up with by an ex-coworker. Only been on a group date with him, so not sure about it yet, but going well so far. He is by far the most well-mannered date I've had (or at least remember) since moving to DC. He needs a name ... how about SG for "Southern Gentleman"?
Third, there is an ex-coworker. Not really my type, but super nice guy and very interesting. I'm thinking I need to nip this one in the bud before I really feel bad, though. Any suggestions for a name? Oh, he's a vegetarian ... we'll use that.
We have the redhead govt contracts attorney who is 4o, but definitely doesn't look or act that much older than me. Met him on match last year ... he pursued me persistently until I gave in and met him for coffee in November. Finals and the holidays happened, and I didn't see him again until a couple of weeks ago for lunch. Then work happened and he's in Florida pretty much full time for a few weeks .... we'll call him "the redhead" for now.
Next is a guy I was set-up with by an ex-coworker. Only been on a group date with him, so not sure about it yet, but going well so far. He is by far the most well-mannered date I've had (or at least remember) since moving to DC. He needs a name ... how about SG for "Southern Gentleman"?
Third, there is an ex-coworker. Not really my type, but super nice guy and very interesting. I'm thinking I need to nip this one in the bud before I really feel bad, though. Any suggestions for a name? Oh, he's a vegetarian ... we'll use that.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Cranberry Juice Guy
I met the CJG on yahoo personals. I thought I would try a new site since match was only so-so. Yahoo is definitely inferior in my experience. Not just because of CJG, he was only the beginning. This was during the period of time when I began to think that canceling the first date was normal, and possibly some sort of dating test. Not that I really care to be honest. Maybe that is the problem -- they want me to care. But if I can say one positive thing about online dating, it is the ability to have a date whenever you want one. It takes away the desperate issue altogether.
But on to the story ...
CJG and I had drinks and dinner at Faccia Luna in Arlington after work. I thought we had a great time, but he was, shall we say, fishing for compliments. He is very entertaining. But he requires more positive reinforcement than I am willing to give him, particularly on a first date. He walked me to the metro, but went to kiss me and then backed away like a tease. I honestly have no idea what he was trying to do, but we have all decided he is gay.
However, I was willing to hang out with him a couple of more times for a very casual date (gay men are GREAT friends). On date three, we decided to hang out for a while in my place. He walked in, went straight into the kitchen, opened my refrigerator and drank out of my cranberry juice straight from the container!!!!! WHO DOES THAT!?!?!?!? Not to mention, he seemed to feel no embarrassment when I caught him. He didn't understand why I was annoyed and just said that I could keep that bottle for him each time he came over. NOT!!! Needless to say, he's never been invited back into my place.
He still contacts me from time to time ... what a loser!
But on to the story ...
CJG and I had drinks and dinner at Faccia Luna in Arlington after work. I thought we had a great time, but he was, shall we say, fishing for compliments. He is very entertaining. But he requires more positive reinforcement than I am willing to give him, particularly on a first date. He walked me to the metro, but went to kiss me and then backed away like a tease. I honestly have no idea what he was trying to do, but we have all decided he is gay.
However, I was willing to hang out with him a couple of more times for a very casual date (gay men are GREAT friends). On date three, we decided to hang out for a while in my place. He walked in, went straight into the kitchen, opened my refrigerator and drank out of my cranberry juice straight from the container!!!!! WHO DOES THAT!?!?!?!? Not to mention, he seemed to feel no embarrassment when I caught him. He didn't understand why I was annoyed and just said that I could keep that bottle for him each time he came over. NOT!!! Needless to say, he's never been invited back into my place.
He still contacts me from time to time ... what a loser!
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