WTF???

That is my initial reaction to events of this week. Let me explain. Now that I am getting settled into my new daily routines, I am attempting to touch base with people again. About 5 weeks ago, I sent our friend, RW, an email to say hello and suggest that we meet for a drink to catch up. I hadn’t heard from him since before the bar exam in July.

A couple of days ago, Choofly talked to RW and suggested an happy hour now that we are all officially lawyers. It became a slightly bigger event than originally anticipated, but I was looking forward to seeing everyone again. I remembered that I hadn’t heard back from RW, but figured it wasn’t really a big deal – I forget to reply to people often without even realizing it. Thinking, “I must reply to so and so” over and over again in your head suddenly transforms into, “Did I ever reply to so and so?” Then you have a dream that you replied and your mind deletes that “to do” off your mental checklist – you don’t realize you haven’t replied until another triggering event occurs and you search your emails for what seems like hours looking for that email you sent. That email that is not there and was never sent. It has happened to me more often than I can count.

I digress. As I am heading out to meet the crew for happy hour, I receive a reply from RW to my email from 5 weeks ago: “see you at happy hour tonight?” [Insert title of this post here, but spelled out in all caps and bold]. I mean, had he never responded at all, I wouldn't have cared, but to respond 5 weeks later after a happy hour is already planned is just asinine.

I refrain from immediately replying with my sentiments and resolve to berate him publicly at the bar instead. But, wouldn’t you know it – he is there with his new girlfriend. A rather homely looking chick if you ask my opinion (his past girlfriends have been pretty cute, so not sure where he found this one). Being the sensible and mature person I am, I then focus my energies on everyone BUT him. Works just fine until he is leaving and decides to stroll over to say goodbye. He specifically congratulates me from across the group. I immediately threw my drink in his face and walked off with a huge smile on my face.

Okay, not really. That’s what I wanted to do, but instead I politely smiled, thanked him, and otherwise kept my trap shut for once. I had to resist the urge the entire way home to pick up my blackberry and reply to his email with “What the FUCK was that?!?!?!?” By morning, I was much calmer (i.e., sober) and glad I hadn’t replied. In fact, I think no response may make more of a statement – but it is definitely not as satisfying as a good old-fashioned ass-whoopin’! Maybe I’ll just dream that it happened that way …

Nightmares

I have decided that I may be a DC metro man's worst nightmare:

1. I am extremely liberal, yet respect (and even expect) traditional dating values.
2. I hate seafood. Not allergic, just HATE it. The flavor, the smell, the THOUGHT. I can go to a sushi restaurant, but I just don't get the excitement.
3. I am the cat lady - or at least own 2 cats and love them dearly. I still consider myself a dog person, but am not willing to give up my boys for anyone.
4. Value my independence and expect my man to do the same without resentment.

Maybe I am asking too much but I refuse to settle for something less. I know that every relationship takes work and negotiations, but there are some things that should never be compromised. Never lose yourself in the search to find your partner...

Some things never change

The bartender asked me out to dinner at Ceiba last weekend. Great place and the staff were phenomenal. But this isn’t a DC food blog …

He was already tipsy when I met him at the bar, which immediately put me slightly on edge. That was the one thing I could never handle about him – his inability to handle his alcohol. You would think a bartender would be the last person to get obnoxiously drunk, but not so in this case. Once we sat down to dinner, I encouraged him to eat as much as possible, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. By the end of dinner, he was well beyond tipsy and talking rather loudly. He managed to mention marriage (to me specifically) at least 10 times throughout the dinner and admitted that he made up some bogus story of finding my number transferring numbers to a new cell phone to have an excuse to call me again.

Against my better judgment, we went back over to the bar for one last drink. The GM of the restaurant was having dinner and was unfortunate enough to be exposed to my date. He managed to embarrass me, which is a big feat, I must admit – both of which was said loud enough for the entire bar to hear:

1. He told me I wanted to kiss the GM, which was pretty funny once the GM announced that he wouldn't be interested because I wasn’t playing on the right team.
2. He told the GM that we once dated (that’s a stretch) and that I broke up with him because he had a small penis (that’s not as much of a stretch).

Little does he know that I “broke up with him” because I can’t stand him after he’s been drinking. I thought I subtly implied such during dinner – making fun of him for the numerous booty calls years ago and mentioning that I never wanted anything to do with him we he came by wasted. But alas, men are not good at subtle hints, and I should have realized this.

As we were leaving, he said something rude to me. I honestly can’t remember what it was, but it wasn’t too serious because I was smiling to myself as I walked away to find my own cab home. It was just a good excuse to get out of the situation …

The 2nd Bar Exam

Today I found out that I passed the bar exam! No, not the test to see who can drink more than the rest of the bar ... I passed that one YEARS ago. I passed the lawyer bar exam - I am officially an attorney!!!! So hard to believe.

Okay, now back to dating ... assuming, of course, any man in this town would be willing to date an attorney.

The Other Shoe Always Drops

Things with Ron didn’t work out so well. Come to find out he is DEATHLY allergic to cats. The fact that he knew this but chose to come to my place anyway at first sounds admirable. But looking back, I am leaning the other direction – he knew he was allergic & that I had cats, but never said anything – a definite indication that he had no long term interest in dating me. Which is fine – like I said, he was a fun date! I contemplating keeping in touch with him for a close to home booty call, however ….

We are also talking to a couple other men, but nothing has solidified just yet. Still getting messages from Party Boy and the Bartender – somewhat surprisingly after Ms V and Ermmagirl sent the Bartender a picture of Ms V’s ass!! Soon after that, I received an invite to Paris … Ms V, you don’t give your ass enough credit!

Anchorman

I knew exactly what I was doing. In fact, I even told him I knew his antics were a ploy to get me to go back to his place. I admit my naivety in many areas of my life, but not often when it comes to dating. But, I wanted him to smooch me as much as he wanted to get me somewhere private. It’s been a while since a good first kiss, and I was craving. Not to mention he was smart, cute, had a stable career and an awesome dog, but mainly he was a lot of fun. And he has a somewhat unhealthy obsession with Ron Burgundy. I think I’m in love. Okay, not really, but it was the best first date I’ve had in a long time.

After a few drinks, he discovers I haven’t seen Anchorman yet. After recovering from shock and horror, he suggests we go to his place to watch it. Conveniently, he owns the dvd and lives a couple of blocks away. Of course I refuse, pointing to the fact that I don’t even know his last name. Then he pulls the “I have to let out my dog anyway” card. I continue to refuse, but eventually give in.

He owns a nice condo in Georgetown, but since his roommate was home and sleeping, we couldn’t watch the movie in the living room – luckily, he had a tv and dvd player in his bedroom. He may as well have been Ron Burgundy himself! I made sure to mention to him that I knew what he was doing, and he best keep his hands to himself. He was a gentleman, but I still did give up a few (or a lot) of smooches. After the movie, he walked me back to my car and texted me to be sure I made it home ok (that whole mile).

We made plans for tonight, but he called to postpone until tomorrow. He wanted to postpone due to a hangover, and I agreed because I wanted to watch the skins play the cowboys. Based on past experience, I say this kid is too good to be true. I am skeptical, but I plan to have a good time until I find the deal-breaker. The report on date 2 will be up in a few days!

Stay tuned …

Out of the woodwork …

In the past two weeks, I have been living reruns. College Boy, Party Boy, The Bartender and Prada have all initiated contact. The first three I can handle and actually would like to see – just to catch up. I am not interested in being more than friends with any of them – not that I know if they are trying for more or not. The attention is great, but somewhat uneventful. I have enjoyed catching up with old friends now that I have a little time on my hands. Because everyone else has asked recently, there are no dark horses in the running.

I am back on the online dating scene. Hopefully someone will be interesting (and interested) enough to result in a date. I have been proceeding slowly, but am looking forward to a little new social interaction. It has been a while since I have been on a date.

Stay tuned …

Retraction

I am so NOT an asshole anymore in regards to boy #2 of my last post. Turns out that he has some seriously deep-rooted anger issues that he opts to self-medicate and occasionally take out on innocent animals. More specifically, he scared my darling niece (of the canine variety) so badly that she pissed herself at the sound of his voice. I am not sure what he did, but I do know that it was unacceptable. I now feel relieved that I never returned his call.

My niece is now shacked up with me for a few days until Ms V and her hubby's new dream home is completely renovated. All is well that ends well ...